Writing for Clarity: Business Writing
Some managers and CEOs seem to believe that the more polysyllabic words chunked together in a mission statement, the better the statement. I remember arguing for what seemed like an hour with He Who Shall Be Nameless over his company mission statement. "We offer cutting-edge infrastructure and technology solutions to maximize the bottom line and provide actionable solutions."
"Why not just say, ‘We have the latest and greatest computer stuff to make you money and show you how you can make more."
"Ugh," he sniffed, "that’s so inelegant."
Well, it may need more finesse to it, but at least my version can be understood by a third grader – and that’s the key to the test of a clear mission or vision statement.
Can you read it aloud and not stumble over it?
If you gave it to a third grader, could he read it aloud? Better, can he read it and tell you what it means?
For giggles, turn the grammar check on in Microsoft Word and spell check any copy that’s questionable. Look at the Flesch-Kinkaid reading score. My own personal feeling is that anything over a 7 or 8 is too much. Why do you want your employees struggling over the mission and vision statement? What’s the point?
A mission and vision is supposed to share and guide….sharing the mission of the organization with every employee, and guiding them in their work. The best ones are short and sweet.
Anything with too many syllables, jargon words like actionable, cutting edge and infrastructure, and other obscure terms needs work.
Call me for Marketing FIX! (shameless plug…but hey, it’s my blog) 434-574-6253
Seven Oaks Consulting, Jeanne Grunert
www.sevenoaksconsulting.com
